


when we went from friends to this

by TheSushiMonster



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/M, No beta we die like Edmund
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:41:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 14,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28868709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSushiMonster/pseuds/TheSushiMonster
Summary: A collection of Colin/Penelope drabbles.20: Colin warns Penelope to keep quiet... she doesn't. (Explicit)21: Colin and Penelope meet before her wedding night. (AU)22: Penelope has pre-wedding jitters so Colin breaks tradition.
Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington
Comments: 365
Kudos: 724





	1. The Opposite Corner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colin meets Lady Whistledown. (Canonverse)
> 
> Prompt: “Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”

Penelope knows this is a terrible idea.

And yet.

She sits on a blanket in the middle of the park, waiting. To an outsider, it would appear she’s reading a book, but her eyes scan her surroundings. Children chasing each other, couples smiling and staring a respectful distance apart, families laughing together. 

And Penelope, alone, on her bright yellow blanket beneath the tree to the right of the river. Waiting.

And when Colin Bridgerton appears from behind a carriage, urgent and searching and determined, Penelope knows this is a terrible, _terrible_ idea.

And when he spots her bright yellow blanket, eyes locked upon its patterned design, she gulps. She tries to hold steady as his eyes travel upward, scanning her, _probing_ her, as his jaw hardens and his face grows stormy.

When Colin storms over - truly shocking, because Colin normally _glides_ , always happy and flirting and charming… he doesn’t _storm_ , grinding his teeth with harden eyes. But there he is, heading her way, clearly shocked and angry and displeased.

“It’s you?” His voice sounds calm, steady. But Penelope has loved Colin for years and years so she _knows_. She winces.

This was a terrible idea.

Penelope nods. “Colin, please sit.” Colin sits, on the opposite corner of her, one knee bent and the other straight, fists tightly clenched at his sides. “I know this is a surprise - ”

“A _surprise_ ,” he hisses, and once again Penelope isn’t sure who this Colin is - not the one she fell in love with, that’s for sure - because he’s _mad_. Colin doesn’t hiss, he chuckles and smirks and - “Penelope, you _lied_. You - ” He moves forward, closer towards her, lowering his voice after glancing briefly around to make sure no one is listening. “You’re _her_.”

Penelope closes her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

Colin says nothing for a moment. There might be a tick to his jaw, or maybe he’s redawning the mask. His eyes soften, just slightly. “I’m not the one who you need to apologize to, Penelope.”

“I wrote to Marina years ago,” she says, twisting her fingers in her skirts. “I didn’t - I didn’t tell her _everything - ”_ Penelope sighs. “I wasn’t ready for that. But - you - I - ” She bites her lips and forces herself to _look_ at him. 

This is still Colin. Maybe - maybe not _her_ Colin, or the one she’s come to know - but still. It’s _Colin_.

“Are you mad?” she asks, softly.

Colin chuckles, but it’s not the same. It’s darker, sadder. “I’m furious. What you did - what you’ve _been_ doing - ” He shakes his head. “And if people found out? About you?” This seems to anger him _more_ , his fists tighter as he leans closer. Gets closer. Penelope can almost feels his breath on her face. “You would be ruined, Penelope. I couldn’t bear to see it.”

Penelope watches him. He’s closer now, practically beside her, and although he’s still shocked and angry and confused, he appears softer. He’s shaky, almost, and it’s confusing and Penelope isn’t quite sure what is _happening_ \- but - 

“I’m sorry,” she says again. “I’m sorry for Marina and what I did to her - but I’m not sorry for any of the rest of it.” Penelope sits straighter. “I’m not sorry for expressing my thoughts and profiting off it or finding _some way_ for people to _notice_ \- ”

“I noticed!” Colin doesn’t bother to whisper this and when glances are sent their way he sighs. “Eventually - now - I _notice_.”

Penelope smiles sadly. “Now.” She tilts her head, studying him. “But you didn’t, not before. But you - like everyone else - noticed her. Lady Whistledown. She’s my legacy.”

Colin stares at her, hard and unflinching, and Penelope feels warmer. His eyes are intense, darker now, and there’s a fluttering growing into windstorm in her chest. “Penelope Featherington,” he says, quietly, his eyes never leaving hers. “No matter how mad I am - I am proud of you.”

And maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t as terrible of an idea after all.


	2. Look Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colin joins the army. (Canonverse)
> 
> Prompt: "You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did all the Bridgerton men escape the military? We just don't know.

Eloise tells on her, purely on accident, a few weeks before he returns.

“ - And Anthony is so concerned with finding a wife, and Benedict has been avoiding me and Colin’s joining the army and - “

She says more, of course, but Penelope stops listening. Her mind is too caught up in _Colin’s joining the army_ to process any further. “El - what do you mean Colin’s joining the army?” She frowns, deeply. “Colin’s in Greece.”

Eloise stops her pacing across the drawing room - empty, except for them - to stare at her. “Colin’s on his way home. Didn’t I tell you?” When Penelope shakes her head, a little shaken and a lot scared, Eloise crosses her arms across her chest. “I must have forgotten with everything else, and Lady Whistledown didn’t say anything so it slipped _my_ mind to mention it - ”

And Eloise continues on her rant, and Penelope listens - because of course she does, it’s Eloise and it’s important and it’s her _job_ , in a way - but her stomach feels uneasy.

Several weeks later, Penelope stops in front of Bridgerton House, just before the door. But instead of knocking, it swings open and - 

Colin stares back at her. Smiles, slowly and almost hesitantly, as if it’s been easy to smile for months now, when he left, but seeing _her_ is different somehow -

Or, Penelope thinks, Colin just smiles because they are friends. “Pen,” he says, easy and light. “It’s been too long. Have you been well?”

Nodding, Penelope looks more at his shoes as he leaves the doorway and stands beside her outside. She can hear the echoes of her own sobs in her ears, can see the memory of Marina leaving in a carriage, can barely feel the rhythm of her own heart. 

Guilt never truly leaves her.

“How was Greece?” she finally asks, forcing her eyes up. They finally catch on his face - his hair is a bit longer, his jaw a bit sharper, his eyes a bit… darker. Colin appears different, not the same, but Penelope’s heart still skips a beat when he smiles at her.

“Wonderful,” he says and while she still suspects there’s something sad twinkling in his eye, there’s also awe. “It was - it was life-changing.” He tilts his head to the side. “Thank you, Pen.”

“What for?”

“For inspiring me.” His smile widens and Penelope bites her lip. “If it weren’t for you, I might not have had a chance to see… _more_. Travel. And now - ” He shrugs nonchalantly and Penelope almost wants to shake him. “Well. I’m grateful I had the chance to travel.”

This doesn’t feel right to Penelope. Something feels… _wrong_. He’s too light, too… uncaring. She frowns and steps forward. “You’ll still get to travel. Still _be_ traveling.”

Colin’s smile is sharper, sadder, more cutting. “You know it isn’t the same, Pen.” With a sigh, he steps down past Penelope, still standing at the top of the stairs. Now they’re almost eye-level and it makes it harder to look at him. It’s too intense, too close, too… real.

“You can’t die.”

The words escape her faster than she can control it. But it shakes him, she _knows_ it, because Colin’s easy mask flickers and his fist clenches. Penelope leans towards him, and she knows maybe she sounds terrible - pleading, too _much_ \- but - “ _Please_ don’t die.”

Colin’s hand rests on her shoulder. His eyes meet hers, steady and firm and there is no smile on his face.

Penelope wonders if it’s even possible to love him more. 

“I can’t promise you what will happen,” he says, finally, not removing his hand and his gaze never wavering. His voice remains steady and Penelope can’t look away. Doesn’t _want_ to look away, because if he’s truly leaving soon… then she may not - _he_ may not - “But I am going to do my best to return home.”

And Penelope can only swallow down the sob building in her throat and nod. She nods and bites her lip and takes one more moment to _look_ at Colin Bridgerton. 

His hand falls off her shoulder and Penelope walks back to her family’s house and does her best to not look back.

(She fails.)

(Colin’s looking right back at her too.)


	3. My Favorite Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colin and Penelope have some news. (Modern AU, ft. Daphne/Simon)
> 
> Prompt: “When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

Colin barely looks up at Daphne from his phone from where he sits on the couch. “Who told you?” His arm is around his wife, her hair curled around his fingers. His thumb draws circles on her shoulders too.

It’s hard not to touch Penelope normally, but now that she’s _pregnant_ -

“Eloise!” Daphne throws her hands in the air, almost pacing in front of them both. She’s frustrated and a little hurt, and if Colin’s honest, it’s quite a bit amusing. “You’ve been here for _hours_ , sat through all of dinner and said nothing!”

Penelope rests her head on his shoulder, mostly likely to hide her amusement. Colin sighs and locks his phone, laying it face down on his lap as he rests his chin on his wife’s head. “I was hungry, I can’t be held responsible for my actions.” He may bat his eyelashes for good measure.

Daphne’s eyes narrow and he can feel Penelope laughing. “Do you know how hard it’s been for me to keep my mouth shut and let you break the news yourself?”

“Very hard, I suspect.” 

Penelope still vibrates in his arms, and frankly Colin is impressed at her ability to avoid Daphne’s attention. Though, maybe, his sister is choosing to direct her annoyance at _him_ since it’s not like _he’s_ the one actually pregnant.

He can’t help the grin that creeps on his face.

(They’re having a _baby_. Him. And Penelope. A _baby_.)

“Why are you smiling?” Daphne points at his face. “Stop that.”

Colin smiles wider. “Want to know something amusing?”

“No.”

“We told Mum first - then Eloise, because she’s Pen’s second favorite Bridgerton - ”

“For the record,” says Penelope, sitting up here and turning in his arms, “Violet is my favorite Bridgerton.”

Colin narrows his eyes briefly before pretending she did not interrupt him. “And Eloise told Marina obviously, and Franny and Benedict and Sophie - who I believe told Anthony and Kate - and Mum, of course, told Gregory and Hyacinth - and well, if Hyacinth knows something - ”

“You told _Hyacinth_ before me!” Daphne almost shouts, clearly angry, and Colin is very, very amused. “So _everyone_ knew before me!”

Colin shrugs. “You didn’t ask.”

“I’ve changed my mind,” Daphne says, collapsing beside her husband in the loveseat, Simon calmly reading a book and ignoring all of them, “Gregory is my favorite brother.”

“I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”

Daphne leans forward, pointedly speaking only to Penelope. “Congratulations.”

Penelope laughs. “Thank you.” She glances up at Colin, who doesn’t bother hiding his very smug, very satisfied grin. Shaking her head, Penelope smiles at her sister-in-law. “And if it helps - you’re the only one we told in person.”

Daphne mumbles something under her breath.

It sounds suspiciously like _I’m flattered_.

Colin returns to curling Penelope’s hair around his finger, still grinning.


	4. Ripples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colin catches Penelope with her last article. (Canonverse)
> 
> Prompt: "worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies"

“It’s you.”

Penelope freezes, completely and utterly, because she _knows_ that voice. She’s known his voice since she was fourteen, had it playing in repeat in the back of her brain, a constant echo. But occasionally, like now, it’s strong and vibrates from her bones and through her veins and ripples through her blood. So, slowly, Penelope turns around.

Colin holds the article - her _last_ article - in his hands, jaw hard and eyes dark and his other hand clenched in a fist. “It was _you_ ,” he says again, not letting her _not_ meet his gaze. He steps forward and Penelope gulps. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“I can’t.” It’s a whisper, just barely, but all the guilt and resentment and shame clogs her throat and her ribs feel too small and her heart - oh, her _heart_ may just - “I’m - I _can’t_.”

“You ruined your own family?” His voice is quiet, low, because even though she can hear the just barely hidden anger, Colin is still the man she loves with all her heart, and he is a gentlemen. Now he’s just in front of her, close enough to touch, his eyes never leaving hers. “You ruined Marina?”

Penelope flinches. “Yes.” There are excuses, familiar mantras she used to play in her thoughts to assure herself, convince herself she did the _right thing_ , even if her head and her heart know better. But now - now she’s finally able to _say_ it, out loud, and it doesn’t seem like enough. 

Besides, this is Colin, and for however angry he makes her, he doesn’t deserve excuses. 

“I - I almost ruined her life. My mother - my _family_ \- ” Penelope inhales, hoping her voice stays steady. Colin’s hand - the one now still clutching the article - reaches out and holds hers. It’s comforting, if not very confusing. “It was a terrible decision, a mistake, and I like to think that I learned from it.”

Colin considers her, deeply and intensely, and Penelope stares back, just as intently. Because - Marina may have forgiven her in letters, and her family may have been fine, in the end, but if Penelope is honest with herself, she’s never forgiven _herself_. And somehow, in this moment, she knows that despite everything - hating how her love for Colin will never be returned, how his obliviousness only makes her fonder of their friendship, how he’s slowly stripped himself to her and it’s confusing and terrible and wonderful - 

His forgiveness matters too.

She doesn’t need it, she knows that, but what is knowledge when it comes to the heart?

“You learned from it,” he repeats, finally. His eyes blink rapidly, and the article is crumbled in his grip. Penelope’s eyes flicker to it and he must catch that, because Colin makes a quick decision - he pulls her towards his carriage. “Come on.”

Penelope follows without fight because - well, her carriage is gone and how else is she supposed to get home…

Plus, he’s still holding her hand.


	5. Stubble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5: Penelope likes Colin's new beard. (Explicit)
> 
> Prompt: "I wake up more awake than I’ve ever been before"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, blame Newty boy and his insta story.

Penelope wakes up to Colin nuzzling her neck. 

“Are you awake?” he asks, the sting of his beard easy against her cheek. She smiles, eyes still closed, as he wraps his arm tighter around her, drawing her closer. Nodding, she lets her hand rest on his warm chest, their blankets twisted around their legs. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

When Colin kisses her, Penelope only notices two things: it’s warm, the first beams of morning floating across the room; and Colin is very hard against her thigh. Her hand moves to face, cradling it, the feel of his newly grown in beard tickling against her fingers.

(She’d been hesitant at first, kissing him with so much stubble. But _god_ , does she love how it feels.)

Colin’s kisses move from her neck to her lips. When his lips touch hers, she groans into his mouth and his grin only makes her hotter. Especially when his teeth capture her bottom lip. “Good morning,” he says between kisses, one hand tangled in her hair and the other slipping beneath her thin nightgown. His thumb draws circles on her stomach and she hooks a thigh around his hips. When both her hands return to his face - to his beard, really, because now she’s addicted to the feel of it, to how he looks with it, rugged and scruffy and - 

Penelope kisses him hard.

Colin smirks and pulls back, his hand reaching her breast. When he squeezes gently, he says. “the beard’s grown on you, I see.”

“Unfortunately,” she says. “Why is it so _soft_ , yet… not, at the same time?” Penelope is fascinated with the texture and Colin nuzzles her hands, still smiling softly. But that smile turns wicked when his fingers twist her nipple. “Oh, that feels good,” she says and Colin kisses her lightly.

“I think I know exactly how to make you feel even better,” he says, both hands drifting lower as his kisses linger on her collarbone, moving beneath her breasts. A quick look, catching her gaze, and as he sinks further down the bed, he pushes her thighs apart with her hands. “I’m going to try not to give you beard burn, love, but I make no guarantees.”

And then he devours her.

Because there’s no other word for the sensations - his tongue circling her clit, one of her legs resting on his forearm, the other pushed apart by his elbow. His hand rests on her stomach, holding her down - which is probably good, because Penelope can’t stay still, not with his lips coaxing more liquid heat. His hand dips down, and one index finger tickles her clit when his tongue dips into her center.

“Oh!” She feels him grinning, as he does in that infuriating way of his, and the result is his scruff scratching against her inner thighs. The burn feels _good_ , though, especially when his lips return to her clit and a finger slowly enters her. Her muscles squeeze him and she knows he _knows_ it, because now he’s humming.

“That’s it, love.” Another circle of his tongue, another finger… his cheek moves, the scruff against her sensitive clit just as he beckons her, his fingers hitting that spot inside… “feel that scruff against your skin… the burn… god, you taste so good, Pen.”

“Colin, oh, Colin, I’m just - ” Her words are just breaths, and his fingers move faster, his tongue presses harder and Penelope shakes, every muscle tense and she wants to rise, to fall, to _fly_ \- 

When Penelope comes, she explodes with no color, no sounds, no thoughts. Just pleasure and Colin’s face between her legs, tasting her and worshipping her and loving her. And when it finally becomes too much, too sensitive, she gently pushes away his head. Instead of retreating all together, Colin rests his head against her thigh, his arms tangled with her legs. He grins up at her and licks his fingers clean.

“Good morning.” he says again.

Penelope laughs. “Good morning.” She exhales deeply before caressing his cheek. “You’re to keep this beard for a while longer, I think.”

Grinning, Colin lays a tiny kiss just beside her knee. “Anything for you, Pen.”


	6. Red String

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One moment they're laughing and the next they're kissing. (Modern AU)
> 
> Prompt: "Started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this."

Colin isn’t sure how it happens. One moment, he’s laughing with Penelope - not altogether unusual, since Pen is funny, especially around him or Eloise or their family - but then the next -

The next, he’s kissing her up against the wall in the upstairs of Anthony’s house, ignoring the people and the sounds and anything that isn’t her lips on his. She’s short, and he cranes his neck to reach her, but there’s no way in hell he’s stopping.

Her lips are soft and her tongue is sweet, especially when it sweeps over his teeth. Music loudly pumps from below them, but all Colin hears is the blood rushing through his veins and Penelope’s tiny moans. He wants her closer, but his neck is straining and his hands are wrapping around her waist and her fingers cling to his shoulders.

Colin wants more. He wants _her_ , all of her, _right fucking now._

So, with great effort, he removes his lips from hers. Penelope protests, but Colin kisses her temple in response. “You’re quite short,” he says, whispering into her hair, her breathes heavy against his chest. He motions to the room beside them. “Let’s go in?”

He phrases it as a question because it is one. Colin isn’t sure when Penelope switched from “Eloise’s best friend” to “woman he wants to explore, naked” in his head, but there’s no turning back and frankly, he doesn’t _want_ to. So instead he makes sure she’s looking him straight in the eye and waits.

And waits.

And _waits_.

“Pen - if you don’t want - ”

“I want to,” she says, quickly, her words rushed and slightly breathless. Her eyes flicker away from his for a brief moment, but when they return, there’s something softer in them. Vulnerable. It’s a bit of sadness and a bit of resignation and all of it makes Colin want to bottle it up and throw it far away from them.

Because Colin just wants her to be happy.

Penelope sighs, her hands falling to rest on his chest. They tense for a moment, as if she’s savoring the experience of touching him. Colin doesn’t like that. And her eyes roam, studying him too. Colin doesn’t mind that. But he also doesn’t like it when she looks up at him with a frown. “I don’t think we should.”

“Why?” He doesn’t mean to question it, or her, but he needs to know. He _needs_ \- 

“You’re leaving again,” says Penelope, frankly and bluntly, and Colin can only blink. “Tonight - we - whatever, but then tomorrow? Or next week?” She shakes her head and a part of him wonders if something is being shaken loose in _him._ “I - I can’t do that, Colin.”

“Who said I was leaving?” Something’s clicking into place even as he steps towards her, hands still cradling her neck. His voice lowers, so it’s just her and him. “Who said it’s just tonight?”

Penelope frowns. “Colin - ”

“Pen,” he says instead, resting his forehead against hers. Maybe it’s a hasty decision, too quick and made because he just _wants her_. 

Or maybe it’s a decision that’s been building, slowly piece by piece, a knot methodically untangled until it’s just the bright, red string, from her heart to his. 

“I’m serious.” When she stiffens, he bends down just a bit more to catch her gaze again. “Hey - I’m _serious_.”

“I’ve heard that before.” The anger and guilt is swift and ugly in his gut, but even as he frowns, Penelope shakes her head. “But that’s not important. They weren’t you, were they?” Her hands snake back up, her fingers sinking into the hair on the back of his neck. She leaves shivers with her touch and Colin wants nothing more than to sink into _her_. The shadows frame her face, make her glow, and when Penelope starts tracing his jaw, lets her fingers run through his beard, Colin almost loses control.

But he doesn’t, because she’s staring at him like she’s deciding and he needs her to pick him.

Choose him.

Because somewhere along the way he chose her. And now there’s nothing else. No one else.

“Pen?” It’s just her name, comfortable and familiar and natural, but it’s a question too, an important one. Perhaps the most important question he’s ever asked.

And then Penelope smiles. “Colin.” His name, so soft and sweet on her lips, mostly an answer, but also a release. Her tongue dips to wet her lips and Colin can’t look away. “Colin, I want you.”

So Colin pushes Penelope into the nearest room and kisses her.


	7. Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colin admires his wife in the moonlight. (Modern AU)
> 
> Prompt: "Here in the dark, I cherish the moonlight
> 
> I'm in love with the way
> 
> You're in love with the night
> 
> And it travels from heart to limb to pen
> 
> The Gaslight anthem - Handwritten"

Penelope’s fingers blur across the keyboard as she chews her lip, completely concentrating on the words appearing on her screen.

Colin’s a bit jealous. His writer’s block has become something of nuisance and his publisher has gotten, well, _annoying_. If he got one more text asking for his progress...

But at least Pen is inspired. Colin leans against his chair up on the balcony, his wife quietly writing away beside him. Her purple covered computer sits on her lap, legs straight and resting on the edge of a potted plant that Daphne had given them as a housewarming gift. The sun has long ago set, but the insects are missing for once, and the evening breeze is merely cooling rather than chill. Between her fuzzy socks, not-quite-long enough sweatpants, and _his_ university hoodie... Penelope appears quite warm. And more importantly, she’s adorable.

And Lord, does he love her.

But he would prefer if she’d put down the laptop and get in _his_ lap instead. Just as the idea comes to him, Colin nods, convinced. “Pen.” She grunts, mindlessly, clearly more concerned with whatever shenanigans her characters are currently engaged in.

(It must not be a sex scene, sadly, because usually during _those_ Pen was flushed pink and licking her lips and looking as turned on as her characters. Those scenes were Colin’s favorites.)

 _“Pen,”_ he repeats, this time more of a whine, because he’s really quite bored and he loves his wife and he admires her talent but she’s been writing for _hours_ and - 

“Done!” Penelope presses enter with flourish before beaming in his direction. “I think I might have figured out the plot twist!”

Colin smiles despite himself. “Of course you did.” He reaches out to her. “Now c’mere.”

Rolling her eyes but still quite pleased, Penelope closes her laptop and crawls into his lap. Arms wrapped around his neck, she nuzzles her face into chest. “Mmm, you’re warm. And you smell good.”

“That’s because I made dinner.” Colin runs his hands up and down her back, loving the way her breath lingers against his heart. There are stars clearly visible beyond their balcony, but he’s happy on the ground, Penelope in his arms. He kisses her hair. “Ready for dinner?”

“Not yet.” She squeezes him tighter and Colin chuckles. “I like cuddling you.”

“Yeah?” If it wasn’t cold and they weren’t clearly visible to the pedestrians on the street, Colin might have stripped her down and gotten even closer. “Me too.”

But Colin treasures the smile she hides against his ribs as he inhales the first slivers of moonlight.


	8. His Timing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've always had terrible timing. (Modern AU)
> 
> Prompt: "Maybe we got lost in translation maybe I asked for too much"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by this lovely fic that you should all go read!

In the end, it’s his fault.

The timing - his timing is _shit_.

Because he’s standing at the edge of the pub, foot propped up against the wall and sipping cheap beer out of a plastic cup, trying not to stare. But he’s failing, because Penelope is laughing and spinning and dancing… 

But not with him.

Because he’s an idiot.

No, she’s happy and in love with someone else, because Colin Bridgerton waited too long to realize that Penelope Featherington is not only funny and friendly and a joy to be around, but she’s beautiful and talented and brilliant. And since he refuses to mess with her happiness, he can only narrow his eyes when the other man’s arm wraps around her waist, pulling her closer, and Penelope _melts_ into him. 

Colin wants to scream.

He had that once - he had her in his arms, slow dancing at Anthony’s wedding, her red hair tickling his fingers and his thumb painting spirals on the back of her hand. Colin still remembers how she looked that night - bright eyes, strong smile, green dress. Maybe somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it then, because she _glowed_ in his arms, a constellation of stars swirling in his galaxy, but he just thought she was a girl and he was a boy.

But that’s just it - he _was_ a boy; a stupid boy afraid of the depth of affection that reflected back at him in her eyes. He must have known before how much she loved him, must have been afraid of it… 

Because the next day he flew out to Japan.

Colin wishes he could strangle the him from the past. He wishes he could shake him, yell at him - tell him how _stupid_ he is for missing out out the love of his life, standing right there, _waiting for him_.

But Penelope’s smart, Penelope is brave, and Penelope deserves so much more - so while Colin drowns the rest of his beer, he can’t blame her for moving on.

She’s just laughing and dancing and glowing in someone else’s arms, crushing the pieces of his broken heart with her heels.


	9. Crumpled Paper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 9: Penelope is interrupted while editing Colin's book. (Post-Canon, Explicit)
> 
> Prompt: "sharing a drink" + this annoyingly inspiring tweet

When Colin interupts her, he places a glass of white wine on the desk of their office and peers over her shoulder. “Are you finished yet?”

Penelope sends him an unamused look. “If I was done, you’d be the first I’d tell.” She flips over the page, frowns, and makes a note in the margin. Colin cranes his neck to read it, but Penelope shakes her head. “What did I say about your hovering while I’m editing?”

Colin sighs, maybe even pouts, but instead leans against the desk. He takes a sip of her wine before pushing it towards her. With a small smile, she takes a sip as well. She pretends she doesn’t notice him watching her, his impatience and worry quickly fading, replaced with something else.

Something she’s become much more acquainted with since the many years of their marriage, but still somehow surprising.

“Colin - ” she says, her finger still holding her place in the journal, “I do not like that look in your eye.”

For indeed, Colin’s eyes have narrowed in on her lips, which she may have licked while sipping wine, before flickering down to her breasts.

“I’ve decided you’re done for the night,” he says boldly, standing straight. With her sitting, he towers over her, but it’s not intimidating… it’s… 

Penelope feels warmer when he steps right into the cradle between her knees, leaning down. His lips rest on her forehead, but instead of gentle, his kisses feel searing. Wet. A promise.

“Do you want to pretend to still be reading my journals while I kiss you beneath your skirts, or would you rather lay back on the desk while I bury my head between your legs?”

Many years of marriage and Colin’s wicked tongue still makes her ache. Her voice sounds hoarse. “On the desk,” she says, her voice steady if not breathless.

They _have_ been married many years, after all.

He immediately pushes aside everything on the desk - journals, quills, loose papers - somehow managing to avoid the single glass of wine. Before Penelope can even begin to stand, Colin grabs her hips and places her firmly on the desk.

“You are beautiful,” he says right before he kisses her. She smiles into his lips, invites his tongue into her mouth, nips at his lips. “I love you,” he says, as he travels down her body, lingering at her chest, a gentle squeeze on the right and a kiss on the left, before sinking into the chair she previously occupied.

“I love you too.” Penelope reaches for his head, but it disappears beneath her skirts. His breath is warm against her legs, his tongue licking a path up her thighs. When his mouth reaches her center - aching and eager - Penelope makes to grab the edge of the desk. In the back of her mind she knows she hears crumpled paper and perhaps she should be worried - but then Colin’s tongue circles her clit.

“Oh, Colin! That feels - ”

She’s used to him talking as he devours her, his voice usually muffled. It’s not the words that matter, after all, but the vibrations that make her smoother, wetter. Penelope wants to reach out, to touch him, but her legs are resting on his shoulders and an arm snakes out to push her back against the deck.

The silent command is clear. Penelope holds on to nothing and lets go.

All she knows is Colin’s tongue darting into her center before pressing against her clit and his hand on her breast and his love in the dirty words she barely hears. Closer and closer to the edge he brings her, until she’s practically floating, anchored by his arms and his shoulders and his tongue… until she comes, hard and sudden, breathless laughter pulled from her lips. 

His kisses soften, on the skin of her inner thighs, down to her calves. When Colin escapes her skirts and stands in the cradle of her knees, Penelope sits up and wraps her arms around his waist. “That was…”

Colin kiss her hair, then pulls back to kiss her lips too. “You’re incredible, love.”

And even though he’s just made her fall apart on their desk, it is his unabashed love for her that makes her blush. His kisses his mouth, then his jaw, then his heart, before her hands wander lower. “My mouth is incredible too, you know.”

Colin growls and drags her to the bedroom.


	10. Another One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10: Penelope finds Colin singing to baby Agatha. (Post-Canon)
> 
> Prompt: "Penelope finds Colin in the nursery singing to their first baby, cuteness ensues..."

Penelope takes in a deep breath, readies herself, and heads in search of her husband.

This is not the first time she’s had to do this - but _that_ time, they were nowhere near England, traveling because she wanted to experience one last trip with Colin before children and other responsibilities became too much. But this - _now_ \- 

She pauses just outside the nursery. She immediately recognizes the soft voice, even if she can’t make out the whispers. Leaning just outside the doorway, she smiles when the whispers turn into hums which turn into a lullaby.

 _“Lullaby and goodnight, with roses bedight. Creep into thy bed, there pillow thy head.”_ Penelope peaks her head into the doorway, where Colin paces around the room. And in his arms is little Agatha, eyes drooping and hand wrapped around his finger. He rocks her and sings and Penelope feels her heart beat in the rhythm of his movements. His smile mirrors her own.

Not wanting to disturb them, Penelope waits at the doorway; she doesn’t want to miss this either - her husband, their child, a song. If Penelope could capture the moment, bottle it to preserve forever, she would. She’d send it back to her younger self - a message of hope, of dreams, of possibilities.

This is her _life._

Colin continues softly singing, even as he lowers Agatha into her cradle. _“Lullaby and goodnight, those blue eyes close tight. Bright angels are near, so sleep without fear. They will guard thee from harm, with fair dreamland’s sweet charm. They will guard thee from harm, with fair dreamland’s sweet charm.”_

As his voice trails off, he stands watching over her. Penelope crosses the room, slipping beneath his arm - he instinctively wraps it around her shoulders - and lays a tiny kiss against his chest. “I love you,” she says. 

Colin kisses her hair. “I love you too.” He glances down at their daughter. “I’m worried she’s going to be too much like Eloise.” His whisper is low and teasing and Penelope grins.

“Eloise had the benefit of four older siblings. Agatha, however… she’s going to be the eldest.” Penelope watches his face, waiting…

The moment the words sink in is magical. Colin’s eyes widen and his jaw drops and he stares at her with awe and Penelope wants to capture _this_ moment too. “You mean - “ his gaze drops down to her stomach and Penelope rests her hands there and nods. Colin lets out an excited laugh, hugging her so tightly that she’s lifted off the ground. “Another one?”

Penelope wraps her arms around his shoulder and kisses his neck. “Another one!” She giggles into his skin. When she gets a bit too loud, he kisses her to keep her quiet.

Colin slowly releases her, her body sliding down his front, before holding her face in his hands. “You make me very happy, Penelope Bridgerton,” he whispers, and she can hear reverence in his voice.

Penelope kisses one hand, then the other. “You make me the happiest, Colin Bridgerton.”

And Colin kisses her again, hard and gentle, sweet and passionate; they only stop because their smiles are too wide.


	11. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 11: There's a new barista at Penelope's go-to coffee shop. (Coffee Shop AU)
> 
> Prompt: "Subtle kindnesses."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The actual prompt for this fic (which will be used to prompt another drabble later) was "college AU, colin works a coffeeshop that pen frequents, pen is trying to find her place in her theater major and is a great scriptwriter but wants one good acting experience, she gets it and colin catches feelings."
> 
> Therefore, there is the first in a series of related drabbles that will be sprinkled throughout the collection. There is no plan, so they will be in no order and I don't know how many. I just know some of them will be connected by this premise.

Penelope loves _Mayfair Coffee._ Ever since her first day at university, discovering this shop has been a blessing. It’s close to her new apartment with Eloise, the coffee - and hot chocolate after 6pm - is delicious, the baked goods are _divine,_ and the atmosphere is perfect for writing.

And since her final screenplay is due for her third year theater class _tomorrow_ \- she really needs to write.

The line isn’t very long on a Tuesday afternoon, thankfully, but as Penelope prepares herself to order her customary caramel latte with oat milk, the words get stuck in her throat.

Because this is not the usual barista.

“Well, well, well,” says Colin Bridgerton, his grin just as glorious as she remembered. “Penelope! Eloise told me you liked to hang out here.”

Penelope nods, clearing her throat. “Uh, yeah. It’s great for working. Uh,” she glances behind her, but there’s no one else in line. “You work here?”

“Just started today,” he says, smiling warmly and leaning against the counter. “Figured since I’d be staying a bit, I’d get a job so I wasn’t just bumming off of Mum.” He tilts his head in that way that always made Penelope blush, as if he can see right through her. “You still get caramel lattes with oat milk?

Penelope hopes her surprise isn’t obvious. “You remembered!”

“Of course I remember,” says Colin with a tiny eye roll and another stunning, fearless smile. “Now, what are you working on today?”

“A screenplay for class. Due tomorrow!” 

“So you’ll need no distractions, got it.” Colin rings up her order. “So I’ll only come over to bother you every thirty minutes for five minutes. It’ll be your break time.”

Penelope likes to think she’s gotten over her high school crush on Colin, but when he says things like _that_ and smiles at her like _that…_ her stomach flutters. “I’d love that,” she says, handing over her card. The door rings as another customer enters and Penelope glances over at the newcomer. An older woman, phone to her face, talking with her hands. “Charge me for hers too, if you can?”

Colin gives her that look again, seering and knowing, and Penelope wants to bask in it and run away at the same time. “You do that a lot?” he asks as he follows her directive. 

Penelope shrugs. “Kindness is contagious.” Colin doesn’t say anything, maybe even frowns, but Penelope thinks he’s just thinking - pondering, even. “Just - if I have the extra money, why not share it?”

Colin blinks, slowly, and there’s something hidden in his gaze that she can’t quite read. He hands back her card. “You’re amazing, Pen. I hope you know that.”

She blushes and doesn’t answer, because the woman behind her reaches the front of the line. Penelope scoots over and waits for her order, studying a new message from Felicity on her phone. When Colin calls her name, he slides over her coffee, the receipt tucked around it. “I’ll be over in thirty.”

“Thank you,” she says, because that’s all that’s really on her lips and he winks in response. She grows even warmer and quickly walks away to a quiet table in the corner, separate from the laughing crowds across the shop. The wink replays in her mind, but it’s only when she moves to crinkle her receipt in her hands that she notices the note, his scrawl only recognizable because she’s seen it so many times before.

_You got this, Pen. Write like the wind!_

Shocked, Penelope looks over at the counter - where Colin is scribbling behind the counter. And in between working on her assignment, she catches him writing notes on other customers’ receipts. At one point, when she escapes to the restroom, she catches a glimpse of one abandoned on table - _you have excellent taste in treats!_ \- and Penelope knows she’s in big trouble.

Now she has yet another reason to love Mayfair Coffee.


	12. Sensitivity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 12: Colin brings his wife breakfast in bed. (Modern AU)
> 
> Prompt: "they are hanging out and colin brings her breakfast and pen reveals she is pregnant and they are happy"

It’s the combined smell of coffee and french toast that wakes her up that morning.

“Good morning, love,” says her husband, holding a tray of breakfast in his hands. Carefully, Colin sets it on the nightstand and crawls back into bed with her.

“Is it a special occasion?” Penelope mumbles as she scoots beside him. His leg wraps around hers as he pulls her closer. He kisses her gently on the lips and shakes his head. “Not that I’m complaining.”

Nuzzling into her breasts, Colin uses her chest as a pillow. “Hmm, warm and soft.”

Smiling, Penelope twirls his hair between her fingers. For a moment, she basks in the silence - Colin with his arms around her, his smile against her skin, his face cradled in her hands. Colin twists his neck and lays a gentle kiss on the side of her breast - not sexual, but intimate and Penelope’s heart aches.

“I love you,” she says, quietly, but he hears her. SHe knows he hears her because he kisses her again, this time closer to her nipple. She pokes his temple. “Stop that.”

“Why?” he says cheekily, his entire head now pillowed between her breasts. His voice is muffled, but his kisses are eager. “This bother you?”

Penelope squirms. “No.” Colin’s teeth nip at her and she yelps, softly. _“Colin.”_

“You’re more sensitive than usual.” He leaves a trail of kisses as he sits up until he’s kissing her mouth. “I like it.”

“Well, sensitivity is a symptom of pregnancy.”

Colin freezes, mid-kiss, eyes still close. Penelope does not breathe as he slowly opens his eyes and studies hers. “Penelope.”

“Colin.”

His hands cradle her face. “You’re pregnant?” Slowly, she nods, a smile crawling onto her lips. And then Colin laughs with his whole body, sweeping her into his arms so she straddles him. “You’re pregnant!”

“I’m pregnant!” Colin pushes back onto the bed, grinning widely, kisses raining on her face. Penelope laughs and laughs as Colin tries to bury himself into her skin. “You’re taking this well.”

Colin pauses in his aggressive cuddling to hover over her, knees bracketed around her hips and hair licking his forehead. “I love you, Penelope Bridgerton, and the thought of expanding our family is - ” he pauses, exhales, and shakes his head. “I am - I am absolutely _delighted.”_

Penelope caresses his cheek - and Colin kisses her hand - before pulling him down on top of her. “You’re going to be an excellent father,” she says, wrapping her legs around him as his arm slips beneath her back. They’re an amalgam of limbs and hearts and neither can stop grinning. “I love you.”

Colin nuzzles his head into her chest. “I love you too.”


	13. White and Clear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 13: Penelope watches the snow and Colin brings her hot chocolate. (Coffee Shop AU)
> 
> Prompt: "When it rains/snows/storms + Polin"

Penelope loves watching the snow fall.

Grey skies glittering as the powder dusts trees, grass, streets. There’s a car parked with a thin layer covering it, a protective coating, and perhaps its owner will come out to brush it aside, or just wait until the sun returns. But for now, the snow starts to bury it, to reclaim its place.

It’s quiet, outside and inside the coffee shop that she sits. Her laptop has fallen asleep since it’s too easy to just… watch. Watch as snowflakes bind together in the air and stick to each other on the ground. There’s perhaps only an inch so far, but the snow keeps falling and it all just appears white and clear, so Penelope suspects this will be quite the storm.

She’s just admiring the strength of the tree branch tickling the coffee shop’s window - how is it able to stay upright, holding all that snow - when a shadow falls over her table. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Penelope smiles and glances up. “I love snow.” Her eyes flicker to where Colin holds two cups in his hands. “Is that - ?”

Colin slides the cup over to her. “Mint hot chocolate with light whip and chocolate drizzle.” He shrugs, almost slyly. “Seemed appropriate.”

“Thank you!” Her hands aren’t as cold as they were a few hours ago, when she first came in shaking snowflakes off her hat and coat, but holding warmth in her hands will never be unwelcomed. Nodding to the empty seat across from her, she says, “you going to be closing soon?”

Colin glances around before sitting. One other customer appears to cleaning up their table, but otherwise, it’s empty. “Yeah, likely. Don’t want anyone to try to head our way and get caught up in the storm.” He sips his own drink. “Shouldn’t you be heading home?”

Sighing, Penelope closes her laptop. It’s not like she’d been actually doing work for a while anyway. “I should. Luckily it’s just a block away and I wore my snow boats.” When Colin peers under the table, she flashes a leg to show him. He grins and shakes his head. “It never hurts to be prepared.”

Colin laughs. “Of course.” Another sip of his drink and Penelope pretends she’s not watching his lips… or his tongue, as it peeks out. “I’ll walk you home. Should say hi to El anyway.”

“Okay.” Inside, she’s dancing in the snow and laughing at the sky. Outside, she just smiles. “I’d appreciate it.”

Colin beams. “Excellent! Let me just do a little cleaning up and then we head out.” Penelope nods, trying not to smile at his easy charm, at how he hums as he heads back to the cash register. But she’s failing, her lips curling up, so she finally drinks her hot chocolate instead.

It’s sweet and warm and it’s like being wrapped up in Colin’s arms in her dreams.

Penelope keeps drinking.


	14. Insufferable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 14: Colin tends to Penelope while ill. (Post-Canon)
> 
> Prompt: "colin taking care of pen when she's sick 🥺"

“Your hovering is quiet insufferable.” Penelope squints, hoping she’s directing her words at her husband and not at an empty wall, but it’s difficult to see when her eyelids are so heavy. Sighing, she snuggles into the pillows. When a hand rests on her hair, soothing, she forces herself to sit up, accepting the glass of water. “Thank you.”

Colin kisses her hair. “Of course,” he says as she drinks, slowly. Her throat is on fire and the water soothes, but only momentarily. Wincing, Penelope closes her eyes, so she only just misses Colin’s frown. “Would tea and honey be better?”

“No, this is fine,” she says, drinking more water slowly. It’s still painful, but it does make her feel better. Eyes still closed, she feels Colin crawl into the bed beside her. “You should not be so close.”

Scoffing, Colin wraps an arm around her shoulder. Penelope doesn’t hesitate to sink into his hold, her body’s natural reaction to him. His shirt is unbuttoned, no cravat, sleeves rolled up; his other arm wraps around her, releasing the now empty glass of water and placing it aside before returning to embrace her firmly.

“I wish I could I take your place,” he whispers, just beside her temple. “Wish I could be sick in your stead.” 

Penelope shakes her head against his chest. “You would be even _more_ insufferable if _you_ were the one who was ill.” She kisses his shoulder, the place just beside his collarbone. “I do not mind your hovering.”

Colin chuckles into her hair. “I’ll reminder that, love.” With a sigh, he releases her, adjusting the pillows so she can comfortably lie down. “Now, rest.”

Penelope obeys, too tired not to, but when Colin returns to their bed with a book, she wraps an arm around his bicep, holding him close to her heart. Colin says nothing, just using his free arm to flip the pages of his latest novel.

At some point, when sleep has almost overtaken her, she thinks she hears him chuckle, closing his book. He gently removes his arm, and although half-asleep, Penelope wants to protest.

But Colin returns to her side, wrapping himself around her completely, pulling her body against his chest. And so in his arms, Penelope lets sleep take her, a smile on her face.


	15. Twinkle In The Candlelight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope loves Charms class. (HP AU)
> 
> Prompt: "All I want in life is for someone to write hogwarts!au Kate/Anthony and Colin/Penelope"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this a while ago but had forgotten, so this has Kate's book last name (hints of Kate/Anthony).

Penelope loves Charms class.

Yes, Professor Sheffield is nice and brilliant and it’s always a wonder to see her butterflies appear out of nowhere whenever Penelope is brave enough to answer a question - always correct, of course, she wouldn’t _dare_ answer if she wasn’t certain she was right. 

But the real reason she enjoys Charms?

It’s the only class the Ravenclaws have with the Hufflepuffs. And Colin Bridgerton, charming and handsome and funny and _kind_ Colin, is a Hufflepuff.

So if Penelope doesn’t have as high of a mark as she should, really, it’s all Colin’s fault. Granted, he’s not actually _in_ their class, since he’s a handful of years older, but he visits, a lot, especially on Thursdays (when they have class) to work under Professor Sheffield, co-head of Slytherin House (along with the elder Professor Bridgerton).

And today, he’s smirking.

“I don’t know why you’re looking at me like that,” says Professor Sheffield under her breath, and if Penelope wasn’t intentionally trying to hear them, she probably would have missed it. Out of the corner of her eye, she spots Eloise ignoring the textbook in front of her and instead pouring over her quill and parchment, penning yet another letter.

Penelope turns back to her Professor and her… well, Colin.

Leaning forward, and still smirking in that way that makes her stomach flip, Colin motions to her neck. “You may want to do a better join covering those up, Professor.” Kate’s mouth opens slightly, eyes quickly darting around - Penelope pretends to be reading for just a moment - before pulling her collar closer together. Colin just grins. “Was that because of my brother?”

“Benedict and I have a perfectly professional relationship, Mr. Bridgerton.”

Colin smirks and shakes his head. “No wonder he loves you.” With a shrug, he returns to the work in front of him. “I shall tell Anthony to be more careful.” His eyes twinkle in the candlelight and Penelope feels like her heart is trying to run away. “

Professor Sheffield narrows her eyes before twirling around, her eyes locking onto hers. Penelope stiffens and pretends to look as innocent as possible. “Miss Featherington! You need help with your latest essay don’t you - ”

“Uh, no, ma’am - I think I’ll be okay - ”

“Perfect! Mr. Bridgerton, why don’t you look over Miss Featherington’s essay with her?” 

Ever the good sport, Colin rolls his eyes but smiles and heads over her way. His eyes are very green and Penelope cannot move.

(Luckily, Eloise’s attention is drawn by the sound of her last name; she nudges Penelope, who quickly dawns a mask of confused and perplexed student. Eloise gives her a look; Penelope gives it right back.)

“Well, Miss Featherington,” says Colin, dragging over a chair to sit beside her and his sister. “Let’s look at this essay.”


	16. Honey and Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 16: Penelope wakes up to find Colin making pancakes. (Mature)
> 
> Prompt: "There’s no way they make you wear a bra in heaven.”

“There’s no way they make you wear a bra in heaven.”

Penelope drops her hand from where she’s wiping away the sleep from her eyes. Colin loves her like this - first thing in the morning, not quite awake and surprised that he’s beaten her to the kitchen. She shuffles towards him. “And why is that?” she asks through a yawn.

Grinning, he flips over the pancake he’s made for her and kisses her forehead when peers into the pan. “Because your boobs are too beautiful to keep caged.” He gives one of said breasts a gentle squeeze. 

Penelope rolls her eyes and gently slaps his hand away. “Apples?” She pouts and he wants to kiss it off her face. “Where’re the blueberries?”

“Someone ate them all.”

 _“Someone_ has to eat something around here, living with the human garbage disposal.” Colin shrugs, unashamed, and Penelope sighs. “Do you need me to help with anything?”

“Nope,” says Colin, popping the ‘p.’ “Just sit down and relax.”

Penelope doesn’t sit down, however, instead getting herself a glass of water - he can hear her movements as he returns to concentrating on not burning their breakfast - and moving to the other side of the kitchen island. She leans over, biting her lip, watching him carefully as she drinks her water.

From this angle, Colin has a very nice view directly down her shirt. He grins.

“Why are you so happy and awake this early?” She glances at the clock. “You’re usually still sleeping.”

“Am I not allowed to want to get up early and make my girl some pancakes?”

Penelope raises an eyebrow. “No,” she says before downing the rest of her water. The glass clinks when she sets it back on the counter. “What are you up to?”

Without looking at her, Colin turns off the stove. He sets the plate filled with pancakes to the side. After washing his hands in the kitchen sink and drying his hands with the kitchen towel, he stalks around the island towards her.

Penelope frowns, straightening. “What are you doing?”

“Walking towards you.”

Her eyes narrow further, especially when he reaches her. One of her hands moves up, not quite in defense because it immediately lands on his chest. “Why do you have that stupid smirk on your face?”

Colin doesn’t bother to hide his widening grin. “Because I’m kissing you.”

“You’re not - ”

Penelope tastes like honey and home and Colin is addicted to her. He pulls her as close as possible, and kisses her deep, especially when her arms circle his shoulders. With a little pressure, her mouth naturally opens and Colin swipes his tongue against hers, nipping at her bottom lip.

When breathing becomes slightly difficult, he separates. Penelope’s flushed and dazed and Colin takes pride in how she melts and glows after just one kiss.

He backs her up against the kitchen table. When she squeaks, her hands sliding down to fall to his chest, he swoops down and lifts her on top of the table, her thighs cradled in his arms. His entire focus rests on the scrap of purple fabric covering her center as he pushes her legs apart, the hem of her flimsy nightshirt riding up. Penelope’s hand curls against his t-shirt. “Colin,” she begins, stuttering when one of his hands travels down her thigh.

Her skin is so soft. He can feel the heat rising as his fingers draw closer. Penelope moans and he glances at her face - glowing and pink as she bites her lip. The hand not clutching at him unconsciously moves lower down her neck, towards her chest, as if she wants to squeeze her own breasts.

Colin growls and grows hotter, harder. He positions her feet wide on the edge of the table. “Keep your legs spread and don’t you dare try to keep quiet.”

“What are you doing?” she asks, breathless, eyes flashing. Colin grins, wide and wolfish, and pulls a chair over to take a seat.

Looking her straight in the eyes, he pushes her underwear to the side. “I’m going to eat.”

Penelope gasps and Colin pulls her body towards him, licking her pussy and delivering on his promise.


	17. Potatoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 17: After a night out, Colin and Pen grab a late night bite. (Modern AU)
> 
> Prompt: “Potatoes. They’re so beautiful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Inspired by this tweet!](https://twitter.com/torilovesatp/status/1361736347506081792)
> 
> This drabble has been expanded into the fic “help me hold onto you” which you can find on my page.

When Penelope stops in the middle of the sidewalk and declares she’s hungry, Colin shakes his head, biting back his smile. “That’s my line.”

She glares at him over her shoulder. “I’m drunk and hungry, don’t irritate me.” Her face softens, just a bit. “Feed me?”

Guiding her with a hand on her back, Colin directs them to a tiny burger joint on the corner of the street. It’s not the cleanest, but the scent of _food_ surrounds them through the late night air. Since this isn’t the first time one or both of them have needed a late night snack after a night out, it’s also one of their favorite places.

Penelope sinks into a booth and opens a menu. Colin doesn’t bother even sitting. “Why are you pretending you don’t already know what you’re going to get?” She narrows her eyes at him over the menu, but pretends to ignore him. Colin smirks. “Do you want fries or pickles?”

With a huff, Penelope lets the menu fall to the table. “Get extra fries. I don’t want you stealing mine. And a water, please.” Colin smiles and kisses her hair - she smells faintly like beer, but still very much like Penelope, and it warms him - before heading to the line to order.

When he returns, a receipt tucked in his hand, Colin finds Penelope resting her head in her arms. He hesitates for a moment before sitting down on the same side as her, using his hips to scoot her over - she moves without protest, not really asleep, just clearly crashing. One of her arms twists through his before returning as her pillow. “I’m sleepy.”

Colin pulls out his phone, checking the messages from various siblings confirming their whereabouts. “You gotta eat first.”

“But I’m _sleepy.”_

“That’s what happens when you drink and dance a lot, love.”

“You shouldn’t let me do that.”

Colin scoffs. _“Let you._ As if I can control anything you do.” The number of their order ticket is called so Colin tugs at his arm. “C’mon, let me grab our food.”

“No,” says Penelope, her voice muffled by her own arms. “This is my arm now.” 

Colin rolls his eyes, but a smile threatens to spill over. Instead, he leans over and lays a small kiss right behind her ear. Before he straightens, however, he whispers, “if you let me go and you’re sober when we get home, I’ll suck on your tits against the door and then let you come on my fingers on the couch.”

Penelope let go of his arm.

Grinning to himself, Colin tries his best not to skip as he retrieves their food. His smirk is still there when he returns to the booth, however, and Penelope’s steady blush only makes it grow wider. “Potatoes,” he says, waving the tray of fries in front of her. “They’re so beautiful!” 

Penelope grabs the entire tray of food from him, giving him a tiny glare. Colin returns to his seat across from her, mindlessly checking his phone. However, the moment she unwraps her burger and takes a bite, her face breaks out into pure bliss and he’s mesmerized. Colin wonders if it’s normal to be so turned on by watching a woman eat, but he also decides he doesn’t care. Especially when she moans out loud. Colin shifts in his seat - his pants are a bit too tight in that moment - just as Penelope opens her eyes and catches him. 

Her eyes glitter. She sticks out a fry in his direction. “Eat.” 

Sighing, Colin opens his mouth and lets her feed him. As he swallows, he tilts his head. “How drunk are you?”

“I’m drunk on life!” When Colin just stares at her, Penelope rolls her eyes and stuffs her mouth with another fry. “I will be perfectly sober by the time we get home.”

Colin tries not to smile, but the way she eats is just too cute; and he’d be lying to himself if he wasn’t looking forward getting home and stripping her naked and hearing those moans again, over and over. 

So Colin leans over, swiping a handful of her fries despite her protests, and stuffs his own face. “I look forward to it,” he says, not bothering to hide his pointed smile. He knows all his plans are painted clearly on his face.

Penelope blushes and quietly attacks her burger again. Colin watches her smugly.


	18. Anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 18: Sober Colin finds Sober Penelope in the middle of a party. (Modern AU)
> 
> Prompt: "they are the only two sober people at a bridgerton party bc they are the DDs"

It’s quite loud and dark, so Penelope mostly feels Colin when he slides down the wall beside her. He tilts his head to look at her - even as she pretends he isn’t there and continues scanning the crowd - before turning away. It’s silent for a while, just them sitting on the floor of Anthony’s house, completely and utterly sober.

“It’s peaceful down here, huh?” says Colin, finally. Someone laughs loudly - it sounds vaguely like Benedict, with Kate harmonizing, and Eloise grumbling something under her breath - as Penelope lets herself look over to him. “Still part of everything, but… not.”

Penelope swallows. “Yeah.” Colin turns again, catching her eye, and she tries to hold back the butterflies swimming inside. “Colin - ”

“I’m proud of you, Pen.” He doesn’t smile, doesn’t flirt - his eyes are serious and tinted darkly. “I wish - I wish you had told me the truth, but - I _am_ proud of you.”

“That - that means a lot, Colin.” Her throat is dry and her skin is warm and she wants to disappear - she’s putting off this conversation for a reason. There’s a reason why she agreed to stay sober and drive Eloise and Francesca home. But, maybe she shouldn’t be surprised that Colin knows her better than she thought. Penelope knows he’s been drinking water all night. “I don’t - I don’t regret most of what I wrote. But - ” She sighs loudly, facing the crowd again, watching Anthony dancing terribly. “I do wish I had handled the Marina situation differently.”

“I talked to her the other day, actually.” Penelope almost tears a muscle in her neck to face him. He’s still staring at her… but he’s smiling now, a little. “Apparently her and Eloise have been texting a lot and I just - ” He shrugs. “If you wanted to talk - to, you know - ” 

“Apologize?” Her eyebrow raises slightly. And even if it doesn’t seem like the right moment, Penelope wants to smile.

“Yeah.” Colin’s eyes flicker - in her imagination they linger for a moment on her lips - before steadying on her face. “I could go with you. To meet her, I mean.”

Penelope blinks. “You’d do that?”

Colin scoots closer, his shoulder knocking into hers, his chest inches away. “Penelope - I’d do anything for you.” Her breath catches in her throat, his words echoing, her heart shaking in her chest. Colin’s hand reaches out and he tucks a stand of hair behind her ear. “Anything.”

Penelope isn’t sure if he leans forward or if she does, but all she knows is that while they’re sitting on the floor in the middle of the party, up against the back wall, Colin Bridgerton kisses her with tenderness and care, his lips soft against her own, a caress and a promise. His hand still lingers, holding her face as a punctuation, and Penelope melts into his embrace. When they finally part, she rests her forehead against his. “I’ve been wanting you to do that for years,” she confesses, barely a whisper.

Colin grins. “I’m planning on _doing_ that for years.” Vulnerability flickers in his eyes. “If that’s okay - ” 

Penelope answers his concerns by pulling his head back towards her and swallowing his doubts with her lips. 


	19. men and women

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 19: Colin enjoys the pleasure of men and women; Penelope wonders how life would be different if she had met Eloise first. (Character musings on sexuality, pre-RMB, M)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No prompts, just musings. Colin is pan, Pen is bi, and no I will not hear arguments otherwise. Also, it is canon that Pen/Eloise are soulmates too, so. This isn't really a Pen/Colin drabble, but it felt like the right place to post.

Colin enjoys the silky slide of a cock in his mouth, and will always be a gentleman and swallow, but he has to admit the sourness of this Captain’s cum leaves a horrible aftertaste that masks the lovely remnants of the steak and potatoes he consumed earlier. Although, to be fair, it was Colin’s consumption of  _ all  _ the steak and potatoes on the ship that led to his current fate: on his knees, wiping his mouth, the Captain’s flacid dick not yet tucked back into his trousers.

Sometimes Colin wonders if his appetite for food should be curtailed - but then he remembers that he  _ enjoys _ food, enjoys exploring tastes and flavors and cultures through spices and meats and pastries. And he also enjoys the pleasures of men and women, and giving  _ them _ pleasure, so really this nomadic lifestyle of exploration and adventure suits him perfectly.

So if the consequence for eating too much food is getting to suck a cock (and maybe if he’s lucky, to have his sucked too), well… Colin really isn’t one to complain. 

(And if every time that itch to  _ run _ when he visits his family seems to be carving out a bigger hole in his heart... if there’s some part of him that wants to… not settle  _ down,  _ but to… rest…  _ well… _ )

(Colin skips out on Greece to avoid the wars, docks in Cyprus a few nights later, and returns to London some months after that.)

  
  


Sometimes Penelope wonders if life would be simpler if she had met Eloise first. Penelope knows her heart latched onto Colin just at the sound of his laugh - but Eloise’s heart is also nestled firmly against her own, side by side, arm in arm. Penelope knows her love for Colin and her love for Eloise are not quite the same - both strong, both unwavering, both unending. But even when she imagines a life with Eloise - two spinsters, laughing together, content in sipping their tea - a part of her soul aches for Colin.

Likely because she saw him  _ first. _ For as much as she loves Eloise, without Colin in her life, something would be missing.

Penelope likes to wonder about the alternative scenario - if Eloise had burst into the park that one afternoon, a giant ball of energy, loud and uncaring. If  _ her _ laugh had been the one Penelope had heard first, had captured her heart and soul first - Penelope thinks,  _ knows, _ that she would have fallen for the other girl. Hard, completely, faithfully. Maybe in this alternative universe, Penelope would have befriended Colin too, a loyal companion as they spent ball after ball off to the side… perhaps Colin would have suspected her pining for his sister.

(Colin seems to notice others’ pining quite easily… except for when it was for him.)

But Penelope also likes to believe that maybe in this world - the love wouldn’t be so unrequited. Because Eloise is not Colin, and Colin is not Eloise, and even though her heart belongs to both of them, Penelope is certain Eloise would love her too.

Eloise  _ does _ love her too.

But unfortunately, Penelope gave her heart to him first. Too bad she can’t take it back.


	20. keep your mouth occupied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20: Colin warns Penelope to keep quiet... she doesn't. (Explicit) 
> 
> Inspired some twitter musings about who the screamers are...

“Oh, god, Colin!”

His chuckle sends vibrations from her center out, and her hand slips from her mouth to her breast. As her husband continues licking at her clit, a finger circling her opening, Penelope plays with her own nipple. 

Colin’s teeth graze her folds. “You have to keep it down, love. We don’t want to be interrupted. Again.” He sucks, hard, at her clit, and Penelope bucks up into his mouth. His hands press down on her hips, keeping her steady.

“I’m not _trying_ to be loud,” she whispers, the hand not still on her breast reaching for his head. Her fingers tangle with his hair and his smirk widens as a finger sinks into her heat. _“Oh god_ , that feels so good. _Colin!”_

Colin drags his finger in and out, his head resting against her inner thigh, just watching. Penelope tries to urge him to move faster, but he stays steady. “If you keep screaming my name, I may have to find something else to keep your mouth occupied.” His hot gaze flickers up and captures hers. She _feels_ her center squeezing, growing wetter, especially when he inserts another finger inside. “Hm, seems you wouldn’t mind that.”

His smug tone should be irritating - and it is, in a way - but when Colin has her like this, just on the precipice, his attention solely focused on her pleasure... Penelope finds it hard to be anything but spellbound. “Colin - ”

Her husband understands and with another grin, returns his focus to her - to pumping his hand in and out, sucking at her clit, swirling his tongue through her wetness and folds, curling his fingers to hit a spot deep within, over and over. Penelope feels every movement, every drag and lick and suck, and the fire overtakes every nerve and limb. With one hand holding his head in place, trying to get him _closer,_ her other reaches out for a pillow. 

Her moans are loud - they’ve always been loud and Colin has always enjoyed them - but the screams - the screams always catch in the middle of her throat, waiting for his silent commands. Sometimes he lets them free, demanding and eager, hot and waiting. Other times, like today, with the children just on the other side of the walls, his warnings are insistent and Penelope agrees - the screams build and build, but they stay in her chest, in her throat.

But today, she tries to stifle her cries into the pillow, but it’s _different -_ it’s so much, too much, and Penelope wants to - _needs to -_ explode. When Colin pushes harder, silently demanding her to come, she _does_ \- and she can only hope her to screams that escape are muffled.

Colin slows, gentle kisses against her skin, his fingers still buried deep. But there’s a knock at their bedroom door. “Mum? Is everything okay? You sounded... odd.”

Penelope stares at the ceiling and tries not to groan. “Yes, Agatha sweetie, everything is fine!” She finally glares down at her husband, whose hand has begun to move again, lazily. His grin is too smug as he looks back up at her, hair disheveled and lips swollen. When her eyes narrow at him, Colin raises an eyebrow in response and curls a finger up.

She squeezes against him.

“Well Thomas and George are fighting again and they won’t listen to me.”

With another small kiss on her inner thigh, Colin withdraws. “We’ll be right there, honey.” He licks her center, long and gentle and savoring, and Penelope feels her heart clench, even as he sucks his own fingers clean. Crawling up her body, he kisses her nose. He smells like her and her heart aches more. “We’ll discuss that punishment later, love.”

And Colin jumps off the bed to readjust his clothing and take care of their children, leaving Penelope satisfied and eager and apprehensive all at the same time. 

When Colin locks their bedroom door that night, Penelope looks up from her book, biting her lip. “Hello,” she says, carefully, bookmarking her spot and setting the book aside.

Colin tilts his head, smiling easily, as he strips off his shirt and trousers. This is, of course, not unusual, but he relishes his wife’s eyes flickering over his body, studying, admiring. There’s a slight nervousness in her movements, but he hopes anticipation as well. “Hello,” he says, crawling beside her on the bed. He kisses her slowly, only touching her with his lips. He backs away when she reaches for him. “So remember earlier when I said perhaps I would need to keep your screams quiet another way?”

“I believe,” she says, eyes locked upon his, their faces mere inches away even as no part of her touched any part of him. “Your exact words were - _I may have to find something else to keep your mouth occupied.”_

Colin smirks. “Do you have any ideas, dear wife?”

Her gaze flickers downwards before return to his face. Biting her lip, her eyes darken. Slowly, Penelope reaches out, twisting her fingers in his hair. “I want you... I want to sink to my knees in front of you.” Her hand leaves a trail of fire as she touches his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. “I want to capture you in my mouth and feel you lose control.” Her hand slips further, down his chest, down his stomach. She circles his cock, still looking him straight in the eye, even as a blush blooms on her cheeks. “I want you talk me through it, tell me what you like, direct me.” Still chewing her lip as she strokes him, Penelope leans her forehead against his. “Please?”

Colin takes the hand threatening to push him too far, too soon, and intertwines their fingers, squeezing gently. “Kneel by the side of the bed.”

Penelope smiles, her blush spread across her shoulders. Her nightgown is just almost see-through, but Colin knows his wife’s body so well, can imagine her soft skin and perfect rolls, her breasts bouncing as she crawls to the edge of their marriage bed and sinks to the floor on her knees. Colin sits in front of her, completely naked, his erection hard and ready, her body bracketed by his knees.

Holding her face in one hand, Colin leans forward to lay a kiss on the crown of her head. “Whenever you’re ready, lick me from root to tip, sucking at the top,” he whispers to her hair.” He can hear her breathing falter, and when he leans back again, she smiles - it’s not quite shy, because they’ve done this before, but still trusting and eager and tentative. All her emotions are written on her face and Colin likes to believe he’s become an expert at reading her. And, he must have some idea, because after a tiny exhale, Penelope does as he asks.

Her tongue is wet and hot against him, her lips soft. Colin does not look away, still holding her hair. “Rest your hands on my thighs,” he commands gently. She does, watching him as she sucks just a bit harder on the tip of his cock. “Oh, good girl,” he says, with an encouraging pull of her hair. “Suck as hard as you want.”

Her lips slip further down his cock, and he moans when her tongue licks the vein on the underside. Slowly, he sinks deeper and deeper into her mouth and Penelope sighs in pleasure. Growing harder at her sounds, Colin holds her face with both hands. “You feel so good, Pen. So good.” His thumb circles the hollow of her cheek, just beside his own erection deep within her. “Do you want to use your hands? Or only your mouth? Do you want to me to spill down your throat? Or somewhere else?”

When she tries to move back to answer with her words, Colin holds her steady and shakes his head. Penelope’s eyes flash - hot and understanding, especially when her left hand presses on his thigh to confirm it. Her right, meanwhile, slips to his dick, circling the area she’s not quite able to reach with her lips. “Hands and mouth it is,” he says, loosening his grip, so she pulls back just enough to leave a trail of spit. Her lips stay wrapped around him, however, and instead, she takes one of his hands and moves it to her breasts. Colin grins and tweaks a nipple. “You want me to come on your chest, love?” Penelope nods before drawing him back into her mouth, her hand moving in tandem. “Okay, Pen, make me come.”

And Penelope smiles, directing his one hand on her breast while his other remains tangled in her hair. She works her mouth - her lips and tongue and just the bare graze of her teeth - over his cock and Colin marvels at the sensations. She’s wet and tight, soft to the touch, fire in her eyes. The love in his chest builds with the pressure in his cock until he pulls her mouth off with a pop.

“Keep stroking,” he pants, just barely able to speak - a rarity for him, he’ll admit it, and Penelope knows too, because she wraps her hand tightly around him with a smug smile, pushing and pulling, stroking, until he spills across her chest, down her breasts. “Oh hell,” he swears, the sight of his come coating her pink skin pulling out a laugh from his lips. “God, Pen, love - you are incredible.”

Penelope kisses the tip of his cock with a tiny grin. “I know,” she says, before rising up and kissing his lips too. “I love you.” Colin holds her there, tastes himself on her lips, the warmth in his chest having spread to his fingertips. He imagines this feeling is something like a ball of light, each ray extended as far as it can reach, transfering from his hands to her cheek. 

Finally, he moves his soft kisses from her lips to her neck to just above her chest. She glows and shines and Colin smiles. “Let me clean you up.”

Without protest, Penelope lies back on the bed and lavishes under his attention as he wipes away his come from her skin. She is a queen and he worships her; and if he playfully squeezes at one of her breasts before moving away, she merely giggles and pulls him in for another kiss.


	21. every word in poetry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 21: Colin and Penelope meet before her wedding night. (Angst, AU)
> 
> Prompt: Angst, "every word in poetry", Colin admiring Penelope in a corset.
> 
> (Blame @calypezo)

When Penelope enters the room, Colin no longer feels like he’s suffocating. In her presence, he can breathe, can live, can hold onto the tiny wisps of happiness that constantly feel like they are slipping through his fingers. He immediately shuts the door behind her, locking away the noises of the inn and the reminders of the outside world.

Now it’s just him and her, Colin and Penelope.

He’s not married to another woman and she’s not engaged to another man and this is not the night before her wedding.

“I missed you,” he whispers, pushing back the hood of her clock, silent promises kissed into her hair as she sinks into his arms. She’s warm and soft and fits perfectly, like the missing puzzle piece in his cracked heart. He feels her hurried kisses against his chest. “God, I missed you so much, Pen.”

She cranes her neck to see him, her eyes red and already filled with tears. Even as he brushes them away, they continue to fall and Colin wonders if his broken heart can possibly shatter any further. “Show me how much?” she says, softly, the quiet plea in her gaze so clear to him. 

It’s inevitable; this is their last time together, their last stolen moment to celebrate their love. So for this night, they will forget the world outside those walls and just live and love each other. 

Colin kisses her, softly at first, as he removes her cloak. Penelope pulls off his cravat and reaches for his breeches, but Colin backs her up against the wall. “You are so soft and beautiful,” he says as he kisses her skin, from her lips to her jaw to her neck. His hand rises up her back, feeling the laces of her dress against his palm. “I want to feel your skin against mine, your warmth under my fingers.” 

Penelope turns, hands up against the door, and silently offers herself to him.

Colin almost falls to his knees.

Instead, he removes her dress, sliding the sleeves off her shoulders. Every kiss is a silent goodbye, another fissure to his chest, and when Penelope shakes under his lips, he tries to send some of his strength to her. She is his strength and his weakness and he can only give her his heart in return.

The dress falls; Colin spins to kiss her lips, breathe her in. Usually his words are easy as they make love, as they kiss and laugh and bring each other pleasure. When his love and his passion is too much to contain, but has to be released, to be heard. But now - now words might break the silence around them, their safe haven of denial… and maybe if he speaks, he won’t hear her quiet tears and stupidly take for granted every sigh, every moan, every whisper.

So Colin kisses her, hard and fast and soft and gentle, endlessly. Her hands anchor in his hair, drawing him close, eager and desperate and in mourning. When finally their need is too restless, too much to be satisfied with kisses, he pulls her towards the bed.

In the shadows of the firelight, Colin admires Penelope. He admires her curves, her rolls, her wit and presence and bright eyes. When he gently pushes her onto the bed, his eyes linger on her breasts - enticingly teasing him, a sight he tries to memorize for the many lonely nights that await him. He touches them reverently, softly, imprinting his fingerprints as silent promises on her skin, every word in poetry that only she can decipher.

Because soon someone else will see her like this, touch her like this. Colin is long past jealousy and anger and sadness, drowned in acceptance, but it hurts, knowing this is the last time Penelope is  _ his. _

“I am yours,” she says, looking up at him, finally breaking their unfamiliar silence. Of course she can read his thoughts, forever the most excellent of authors and readers. “I will  _ always _ be yours.” 

Colin just kisses the lyrics of her farewell song, knowing that any truth in her words will soon be washed away by wedding vows and secrets and resentment. Instead, he does what he does best - love Penelope Featherington for the last night she still holds that name.

(Just before dawn, their eyes heavy from no sleep and their hands still roaming and stroking and their skin never far apart, Penelope kisses away his tears and holds his heart in his hand and kisses both his cheeks. Then they dress in silence, Colin re-tying the knots on her corset, still admiring her body and her mind and her soul. 

After one lingering kiss in the doorway, Penelope slips away.)


	22. That Laugh That Echoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22: Penelope has pre-wedding jitters so Colin breaks tradition. 
> 
> Prompt: "Polin soft prompt: how about something like it’s the morning of their wedding. Penelope is feeling nervous and Eloise is trying to calm her down. Colin forgoes the no seeing the bride before the wedding rule and comes to be with her 🥺"

Penelope bounces her knee and chews her lip and Eloise sighs beside her. “I don’t get why you’re so nervous. It’s you. And  _ Colin.” _

“I don’t know why either.” Her lip may be bleeding, or she might have bitten her tongue, or maybe Penelope doesn’t actually taste blood at all and all the pressure and nerves have led to hallucinations too.

At the knock of their changing room, Penelope jumps in her chair. Her white dress flutters around them before settling again.

“Who is - ” Eloise frowns, her hand still rubbing Penelope’s back in gentle circles. After sending a glare at the door, Eloise turns to face her and smiles encouragingly. “I’m going to send them away but you have to promise not to cry, okay? You will ruin your makeup and Daphne will be incredibly mad at me.” Penelope can’t help the half-shrug, half-snort at her words. Eloise stands, straightening her own blue dress, and moves to the doorway.

Meanwhile, Penelope concentrates on breathing deeply - _ inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale _ \- trying to calm her scattered thoughts. She doesn’t want to suppress them - the moment is too important to completely ignore this nervous, anxious feeling rolling through her gut mere hours before her own wedding - but she does want to control her emotions enough to be able to  _ walk down the aisle. _

Because while her heart races and her breathing falters and her hands shake because she’s clearly nervous and anxious - logically, Penelope knows this is all…  _ silly.  _

“What are you doing here?” Eloise hisses at the open door, glancing back her way. She blocks the entrance with her body and seems to push the visitor out. “Go away! It’s bad luck - ”

But of course, there is no way to stop Colin Bridgerton from seeing his wife, even on the day of his own wedding. Maybe especially then. 

“Colin?” says Penelope, almost surprised, but she does note her stomach seems to calm and her heart seems to steady when he crosses through the room, determined, and sinks to the floor at her feet. 

“Pen,” says Colin, studying her face. She must look like a wreck, red eyes and spotted checks and nerves drawn all across her face. Penelope isn’t sure she wants her future husband to see her like this - but then again, if he isn’t deserving of her at her most vulnerable, does he deserve her at all?

Colin takes her hands in his, leaning closer. “What’s wrong, love? Is it the wedding? It is too soon? Or your mother - has she said something to upset you? I will take care of it immediately - ”

“No, nothing like that.” Penelope wonders why her chest aches, not in pain, but in  _ desperation _ \- a need to rest her chest against his own, aligning their hearts together.

“If it’s me - if it’s too soon, we can wait. If I pressured you or anything - ” His voice cracks, just a little, enough that her heart might just crack too. “If you’ve changed your mind, that’s okay. I love you but that if this isn’t what you want - ”

“Oh,  _ Colin - ”  _ Penelope laughs, her heart soaring and crying and laughing too, as she falls to her knees and sinks to the floor on top of him, practically straddling his legs. In the back of her mind, she registers the opening and closing of the door, of Eloise slipping away, of them being alone together. But mostly she thinks of her future husband, the love of her life, embracing her and drawing her closer. Her own hands slide up his arms and wrap around his neck. “I love you and I absolutely want to marry you.” She rests her forehead against his. “I was just - having a moment.”

“You’re allowed to have as many moments as you want or need.” He kisses her shoulder, her cheek, her nose. “What you need from me?”

“Just hold me? For a little while? Until our mothers realize you’ve snuck in here and fated our marriage to ruin and bloodshed.”

Colin squeezes her tightly, but also kisses her lips gently. “I cannot have ruined anything if you still love me.” His eyes darken, just a little, that easy switch from casual to intense so familiar to her now. “I will love you forever and always, for however long you will have me. And even if you don’t want me - I will respect that choice, and love you even more, but let you go too.”

“And I love you even more for it.” She nuzzles his neck, a gentle kiss on his shoulder. “But don’t ever let me go.”

“Then I won’t.”

And so they sit in each other’s arms on the floor, her in a wrinkled wedding dress and he in his wrinkled bridegroom suit, until Eloise returns and hisses at them to make themselves presentable for their  _ own damn wedding  _ before all the guests leave and  _ she  _ is the one at fault. Colin kisses Penelope in front of his sister without shame and when Penelope blushes and Eloise groans in distaste, Colin laughs loudly.

And it’s the sound of that laugh that echoes through her ears when Penelope walks down the aisle towards him and becomes his wife. 

**Author's Note:**

> twitter @pensbridgerton and tumblr @pensbridgrton
> 
> read more drabbles for other ships/characters on my tumblr under the "bridgerton fic" tag


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